Where Do I Go from Here?
by awtr101fan
Summary: Nadine-centric , alternate history, 1-shot, originally posted on Unconventional Awesomeness


**I originally wrote thsi as a challenge for the If Only in my Fantasies forum. This is my second story featuring our favorite quirky nurse. I hope everyone likes it. If not, then let me know how I can improve the storyline. Feedback is welcome but I won't twist your arm if you don't feel like sharing your thoughts on this.**

**Prompt: "Is it really him or the loss of my innocense I've been missing so much?" ('Strawberry Wine' - Deana Carter)**

**Note: This is slightly alternate history. Nadine was already in Port Charles when she lost Bruce. I'm not exactly sure how old Nadine is on the show but for this story she'll be 22 years old. They were already engaged when he went to Iraq. This takes place around the time that Nikolas is in the hospital for his tumor. At the time Bruce is killed in war, Emily has already been killed by Diego. Flashbacks and thoughts will be italicized while the thoughts are in single quotes.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own GH or any dialogue that you might recognize from the show. I just borrowed it for this story.**

* * *

"May I please speak to a Miss Nadine Crowell?"

The perky blonde with the cornflower blue eyes looked up at the man at the nurse's station dressed in an Army uniform.

"I'm Nadine. How may I help you?"

The officer looked at her with a symphetic stare.

"I'm sorry miss, but I have to inform you that a Mister Bruce Riley Emerson was killed last week in active duty. Our records listed you as family." The officer kept talking while Nadine tuned him out.

'No, he can't be dead. Bruce was supposed to come home to me in one piece. He promised me, swore to me on Daddy's grave he'd come back to me.'

"On behalf of the United States Armed Forces you have our condolences."

"Thank you."

Her voice was numb, weak. She felt numb.

"Nurse Crowell, are you alright?"

The concerned voice came from the head nurse Epiphany Johnson.

"I'm fine. I just need a moment."

Epiphany had seen the visitor Nadine received just moments earlier and figured the peppy nurse had to have just gotten some bad news if her being silent was any indication.

"Nadine?" Epiphany's bark was worse than her bite. So when something was wrong with one of her nurses it was like something was wrong with one of her kids. "What happened?"

Nadine just stood there shaking her head as if she was trying to process what the officer told her. And the tears started falling without warning.

"He broke his word."

"Who did honey?"

"The man I was supposed to marry. The man who was supposed to father my children."

Epiphany put two and two together. She took charge and looked around the hub for one of her other nurses.

"Nurse Webber, you're in charge." She told Elizabeth Webber as she put an arm around Nadine. "Come on honey. We're gonna get you out of here."

* * *

"_Tell me you love me."_

_She looked up into his hazel eyes. Those eyes would be the death of her if she wasn't the death of him first. She knew the first time she saw him at 4H when she was six years old that this was the love of her life._

"_Do you really have to ask me that Brucey? Maybe I should show you."_

"_What do you mean baby girl?"_

'_I love it when he calls me that.'_

"_You're leaving for boot camp in a couple of days. I just thought that you'd want something to remember me by."_

_The innocence in her eyes was enough to be the death of him._

"_I can't ask you to do that Nadine. I wanted us to wait til we could get married."_

"_And how long is that gonna take? After you go off into the big world outside of home and find some Army nurse?"_

"_Nadine, you know that wouldn't happen."_

"_I know. I'm just really scared. That's all."_

"_Tell you what. If we don't get married when I come back from boot camp than you can do whatever you want with me in a year's time."_

"_You promise?"_

"_I promise."_Nadine was drawn back to reality by the older nurse that had brought her up to the roof for some privacy.

* * *

"My boy Stanford, his father was in the military. Fighter pilot."

"He died?"

"He did. And I was sad. And I was angry."

"Does it get better?"

"In time."

"Was he the love of your life?"

"He was."

"I never got to tell him. He was supposed to come home. Now he is."

"But not the way you wanted."

"No. Its not fair. He swore to me that he'd come back alive. How could he say that if he knew there was a chance he wouldn't?"

"To ease your fears. Probably to ease his own."

Nadine looked at Epiphany.

"What do I do now? All my plans are shot to Hell."

* * *

"_Your time is up Emerson." Her laughter was full of life that hot summer night. "You said you'd be mine one way or another."_

_She gave him an infectious smile while she stood in the abandoned woods with the man she loved. The man she'd hand her virture on a silver platter for the taking._

"_Bruce, make love to me. Right here."_

"_Are you sure?"_

"_I've never been more sure of anything."_

_And so he did. That night was the first time she'd tasted what love could be like. Felt it in every part of her body. Each sense captured in her memories._"Are you feeling better now?"

* * *

The dried tears were evident on her face as well as the puffiness in her sad blue eyes.

"Not completely but I think just enough to get back to work."

"You don't' have to. I think it's better if you went home. Got some rest. You need it."

Epiphany looked down to Nadine's stomach which was flat but had one of her hands resting there.

"I need to do this, for the baby if nothing else. I'm scared I'll break down."

"If you need me, I'm here for you."

"Thanks Epiphany."

* * *

Later that day Nadine was checking on Nikolas Cassadine in his room, noting his vitals. She now got how he felt loosing the woman he loved.

"How could you possibly understand?"

She went about her work while Emily's ghost chastised him.

"She does know. Just look at her."

Her sad eyes looked at him while her hand unconscienciously went to her flat baby bump.

"With all due respect Mister Cassadine, you're not the only person to ever lose somebody."

He noticed her left hand on the bump.

"Who was he?"

The tears brimmed in her eyes again.

"My fiancée, the father of my unborn child."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know. How?"

"The war. I just got the news today. So forgive me if I'm not my chipper self today."

"I'm sorry for assuming you didn't understand my pain. And I'm sorry for your loss."

"And I'm sorry for yours."

* * *

**Note: There it is, another prompt in the can. I know I wrote this as part of a challenge, but what do you guys think about the plot? Should I leave it as is or expand on it? Let me know.**


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